Up Close

Moon admires part of the three huge Waterlilies panels by Claude Monet at MOMA



Of course it has become passe to be into Claude Monet, which is just dumb once you actually see his genius in front of you. Sure, his work has now, so ironically, become so over exposed as to become branding.

But there it is at MOMA and it is quite a surprise...up close.

I do not paint often enough, but when I do, it is a wrestling match that seems unending. Particularly difficult is how to lay down paint and work it in such a way that works up close also works from a distance...the distance people will view the final painting from. They often seem to be different paintings entirely.

But they aren't, and Monet is no different. Up close the work is brutish and seems almost haphazard. It isn't either when viewed from 20 feet away. Whisps of green, yellow and purple that look childlike upclose, draw the eye in from afar. It works spectacularly, which was a great part of Monet’s genius. You sit or stand with people from all nations visiting Manhattan and get an even deeper sense of the differences of time and culture that you will not find in Marin (where an antique is 80 years old). But you can see I am headed somewhere with this (“he’s always headed somewhere”). Since Moon and I began dating in July the question of our viability, given our 2600 mile long couch, has come into healthy question. It is a question we may not be able to answer fairly because Moon was contemplating moving West to the Bay Area before she met the Dredd Pirate MacStang. It only sweetened the allure and brought genuine terror to the notion for her (I hope I can speak for you darling).

I’ve certainly not disappointed in either category, which gets to the core matrix of the matter: How can you truly get to know someone at all and have a sense of normalcy when you only see them from a distance?

The very real questions about “reality” verses fantasy have to be addressed. In other words, the paint up close on the canvas needs to be viewed every bit as much as taking in the whole picture. That is why they have museums…so you can get up close and physically see.

Of course there are visits. Moon has been to Marin three times, I am currently in New York for my first time. The real issue, for me, is the same as when we were first talking. Because we could not see each other right away, we could not be simply swept away and leave real issues and deeper communication in the dust of lust. We had to talk about all though other “things”. This has worked out for us. In fact, when we hit some early snags (usually my inherent issues) it was just that foundation of honest communication and safe disclosure that helped give us the space to wait and allow those things to iron themselves out.

Still, without a core attraction to work from we would now simply be very good friends. I might still be visiting, just sleeping on the couch.So we continue to move forward.

One surprise, for me, was how much baggage I was packing that I was unaware of. I had not made the little connections like my being a virtual recluse for two years might make spending every moment with someone for three days a small strain. You cannot see everything and it will drive you mad if you try. So, better to have the tools in place to talk openly and with kindness and respect. Now a month or so after that time Moon and I were together in California and in NY for eleven days. Not only was it not a problem, she is going to miss my cooking.

I have no answers for those in long-term long distance relationships with no end in sight except to say one of you has to eventually move. This is not easy with issues of kids, jobs, area aesthetics, friends, etc. But if you want a real partner you may have to look hard at those issues and decide what you both want.

Me? I want Moon to move to the Bay Area and setup shop so we can keep dating and growing a relationship. Why couldn’t I find a woman in the Bay Area (Lord knows I dated enough) to be this interested in? I dunno. Maybe the distance factor brings a seriousness and openness to real sacrifice that local relationships do not as easily afford?

Please do comment!!

P.S. I liked MOMA very much, but for my money, give me the MOMA in SF or the deYoung. They play less to covering every base and they don’t have that damned “steeel cube” or the “plexiglass sculpture”. Ah Manhattan